Friday, June 18, 2010

I Love You More Today Than Yesterday

Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes I think that song is silly, other times I think about it and it seems so very true.
I can look at my tiny little person rolling around on a blankie on the floor and my heart can just swell you know?
Or peek in on my soon to be teenage daughter in her room sprawled out on her bed, with headphones in on her laptop and think, "Gosh, how did that happen?" and my heart will just swell with love and pride. And sorrow even. Sorrow that the days past are the days past. Proud that they are growing and happy for the time we've already had, but sad because we won't have them again.
She'll never be two again. She'll never want me to help her learn to ride a bike again. She'll never need me to pick her up and kiss her booboo's when she falls.
The little one is not going to to look at me with admiration while she nurses for much longer. She's only going to need me to help her learn to walk once. She's not going to sit and snuggle on the couch with me forever.
It hurts my heart.
I look at them and see the things to come. The lovely times we still have to spend together. Picking out prom dresses, picking out wedding dresses. I am grateful. Right now I am the mother. One day I will be the Mother in Law. The Grandmother.
They transition from infant to toddler to child, to teen, to adult. I transition too.
I'm thankful for these steps and these stages. I'm excited about things to come. I'm heartbroken at the same time though.
I do love them more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.